It's hot out.
Like the sewing machine is melting off my face hot.
So maybe someone can use a hat or two in this heat. Or hopefully the owner of a white bike with matching helmet parked across the street from the Loew's can.
At least it'll keep the sweat out of your eyes. And, you know, it's free.
You know when you start hooking up with someone who is clearly psychotic and who keeps trying to rip your balls off but you keep going back for more? And you tell yourself that it's because the sex is so awesome or because she's so hot and you probably couldn't do better and all your friends are jealous of you? Until you realize that you don't actually think she's that hot anymore and you're sick of disinfecting the bite marks she leaves on you?
That's kind of what I'm beginning to think this project might be. Some misguided project in complete masochism.
It could just be my OCD though. I have no idea what happened to that hat I left last night at the Otherside. Which kind of bothers me.
But I have more. People seem to want Boston bike hats. Okay. But where do you people even park your bikes?
You people need to stop moving.
Start parking your bikes and stop watching them. Stop coming out of buildings right when I pass your bike with this brown paper bag in my sweaty hands. Stop not hanging out at all the places you usually hang out at but chose not to hang out at today.
Come on. Were all my paranoid fears of being u-lock-whipped because while I was trying to leave this on a bike and someone thought I was fucking with their ride totally unfounded? Were the liquid poop inducing thoughts of getting beaten to a pulp by a bunch of cyclists because they think I was trying to scratch their bikes completely crazy?
So the hat wasn't left by the court house (where this picture was taken). A (unlucky?) messenger rolled out just as I got there. Espresso Royale was completely deserted.
The Otherside Cafe wasn't. So the owner of a black bike with a Revolution Bicycles head badge and orange deep Vs got this one.
More people need to leave their pretty bikes completely unattended.