You know when you end up walking behind a couple, and they're holding hands and cooing to each other and giggling and also blocking the entire sidewalk? And then you try to either walk past them or slow down so you're not overhearing them murmuring cutesy things to each other but it winds up just being more awkward because they don't notice you're trying to pass them so you end up literally two steps behind them for an embarrassing length of time? And when they finally notice all you can do is mutter some lame apology as they let you pass by?
I hate that. And that frustrating impatience you feel when you get stuck behind an oblivious couple on the sidewalk is the the reason why I cannot take the T. Anywhere.
Maybe it's because I'm used to the clean, almost sterile efficiency of the Japanese public transit system, but waiting for a train that's clearly on the schedule of "I'll show up whenever the fuck I decide to" is mind-boggling. Add to that the fact that I am, without a doubt, faster than the Green Line and I'll prefer to bike everywhere. Even the Red Line sort of repels me.
And recently, I'm really glad I don't take the T. Because as irresponsible as I am, I just couldn't tolerate dying via a train conductor who is too busy texting. Or something equally retarded.
No, I am not paranoid. Running errands around Coolidge Corner, I heard the wailing scream of a transit police car booking it down Beacon. I figured it couldn't be more exciting than a fender-bender in the bougie suburbs of Brookline. But passing Washington Square, I saw an inordinate number of po-po [remember, this is civilized Brookline, not Dorchester], an ambulance, and a train. It looked like someone got hit.
Granted with the speed of the Green Line, the victim probably got nudged a little. And because this is Beacon, not Comm, it's not like there was any risk of getting hit by a train and then flying into speeding traffic. Still, that shit is scary.
One more reason I'll be throwing a leg over a bicycle all winter. And besides, being crammed into a stuffy, airborne-germ-infested train car also means increased risk of exposure to those cuddling couples. Which would be enough to make me jump off the T, anyway.
I'll take my chances on the bike with the unpredictable drivers, traffic, ice, and snow, thanks.