bike 'stache

There's nothing like being in one of the world's largest cities, back near friends and the only family that lives stateside...and being confined to a bed because you're burning up with a fever.
Exciting, right?
Actually, even for a domestic homebody like myself, it really wasn't. Multitasking was out of the question; as was getting out of bed. But, it gave me the perfect excuse to clean up some unfinished business. And I don't just mean watching Half-Ton Dad, Half-Ton Teen, and Half-Ton Teen, Part 2: Survival of the Half-Ton Teen.
I mean the unfinished business that had me leaving the bike at home, and toting a suitcase down to NYC instead. The unfinished business that I finally got around to after my fever subsided [after I got that whole "sleep" thing out of the way] yesterday, stuffed in a bag, and delivered to some awesome friends. Late handmade Christmas presents crafted from my little fingers and transported across the globe from Tokyo to NYC.

The popularity of collars and merino items might have had something to do with my choice of what knitted gift to give to my cyclist friends this season, as well as the popularity of facial hair this time of year. Inspired by the Incognito pattern available on Knitty, I chose merino wool yarn instead of alpaca [I couldn't get the yarn listed on the pattern in Tokyo], and changed the gauge accordingly [for the knitters, the more complicated "tangy" version of this pattern is well worth the extra little effort]. The mustaches also got modified [how could I not design a crazy long, curly 'stache for Brett?], and Andy's got the royal "NYC Velo" customization.

Too bad when I managed to make it outside and to the shop yesterday, bag full of cookies, rice crackers, and mustached collars, half the recipients of the collars were already wearing their own homegrown 'staches. It was still cold enough to have them excited about the gifts, though, and tomorrow looks freezing enough to force them to wear it [muahahahaha!].
Unfortunately, I'll be leaving this fair city tomorrow, and with two days eaten away by a fever, I feel a little cheated. Still, I have a full 24 hours left here with my favorite people. And that's a good thing, too, because...well...I haven't quite finished all my unfinished business. There's a collar still on deck [needles?] for Mike, and with a promise of a picture of Andy, Brett, Justin, and Mike with their fake 'staches, there's motivation to get that thing done by the time I board a bus tomorrow afternoon.

Besides, with no bike around, recorded episodes of Law & Order, Intervention, and Hoarders, plus expectations of snow later today, what else I should be doing than sitting on a couch sipping coffee, and looping that yarn around two needles?

gifted cyclists

You know when you really like to do something that you're just not particularly good at? That's me and cooking. Okay, and cycling, but we're putting that aside for now. It wasn't until law school that I found myself alone in an apartment with a knife, cutting board, and stove and left to fend for myself. I knew how to cook a thing or two, but it was mostly Japanese food and I was lacking in both time and motivation. I ate a lot of rice that first year.
I've honed my culinary skills a bit since. The handful of recipes on this site are solid, but I'm not sure they're going to blow anyone away or result in orgasmic throes of gastronomic passion. Still, like cycling, I'm hoping that cooking enough will get me to make something spectacular once in a while. Because there's another thing I like to do but I'm not very good at: gifting.
Unless it's a significant other - in which case they're either a) required to like what you give them [if you've been dating for less than 3 years], or b) going to shamelessly exchange what you got them for something they like better [if you've been married for 10+ years] - it's hard to figure out that perfect token of appreciation for a certain friend/family member/co-worker that you like more than your other co-workers/boss.

Even when they share the same interests as you do, you're still taking a gamble; especially if you've never tested the product itself. But like the vegan chocolate cupcakes I made for the first time for M1's birthday last weekend that ended up fooling everyone at NYC Velo, that pot shot could turn out spectacularly good. Or, it could turn out like my first attempts on the rollers: painful and awkward.
So to make the whole process of gifting this season just a bit easier, the power team behind cassette [read: M1 and me] have put together our top 5 awesome gifts [other than our t-shirts, of course] for that particular cyclist in your life [and no, we don't think that excludes gifting yourself]. We're only listing products that we've used and tried to keep the price range fairly reasonable. I hope these turn out to be the equivalent of those vegan chocolate cupcakes:

Mike's picks: 1. Rapha Merino Wool Long Sleeve Baselayer - $85 As soon as the temperature drops below 50 degrees, a base layer becomes an essential item. I have yet to find one as comfortable as the Rapha long sleeve base layer. Thin enough to be worn under anything, it still keeps me amazingly warm. 2. Outlier Workwear Pants - $180 (Online availability can vary) The Workwear Pants are durable, extremely wearable, and practical – a rare combination in cycling-related gear. 3. Greg Lemond's Complete Book of Cycling - $10 Published way back in 1987, Lemond's Book of Cycling is still a go-to reference book. LeMond is both opinionated and knowledgable, and relates many of the training and fitting tips he learned while a pro in France. 4. Defeet Armskins - $27 Arm warmers are arguably the most versatile piece of apparel in any cyclist's wardrobe. I prefer the wool version of the Armskins - they work in a wider range of temperatures, and even stay warm when wet. 5. The Triplets of Belleville - $11 A classic as soon as it was released, this animated film follows "Champion" as he prepares for the Tour de France (with the help of his grand-mere). The training scenes alone are worth the entire film.

Kaiko's picks: 1. Brooks B17S Imperial Saddle - $147.30 The beauty of the Brooks is that unless the receiver absolutely hates Brooks saddles, you don't have to worry about fit because this saddle is going to mold to whomever you give it to. It can be a literal pain in the ass to break in, but once you do, you won't want to ride anything else. 2. Rapha Silk Scarf - $70 Rapha Scarf Fridays. Nuff said. 3. Brooke Siler's The Pilates Body - $12.89 Because cyclists can always use some work on their core. And standing straight is sexy. 4. Superb Cycling Cap and Bianchi Multi-Tool - $40 Choose the teal cap and you'll match the multi-tool. It doesn't have built-in tire levers but I get comments on it whenever I pull it out. 5. Pearl Izumi AmFIB Gloves - $64.99 I actually have the men's version which are a bit big, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. Perfect for the shorter commute or a quick run to the grocery store or to the post office. They'll keep your hands toasty and warm and saved my fingers last winter when it dropped to 0F.
And just for kicks, we're including our dream gift this season. We agreed that it couldn't be a bicycle [that would just be too easy], and not absurdly expensive. As in it had to be within reason; you know, like something under the cost of one of those Victoria's Secret diamond bras [boobs not included]. So if someone loves us a lot, here's what would make us love you [more]:
Mike's dream gift: * Velo Classic Legends of Tuscany tour - $4995 Having already participated in the Velo Classic Spring Classics tour 3 years ago, I have promised myself I will try and make it back on another of these amazing adventures as soon as possible. With so many tour options it's hard to decide, but the lure of the maglia rosa is hard to resist!

Kaiko's dream gift: * InSide Ride E-Motion Rollers - $795 As if I don't spend enough time indoors, these rollers were featured in the latest issue of Bicycling Magazine and I've been secretly lusting after them since. It's something I'd hesitate to purchase even if I was drowning in dough, but boy wouldn't I love a pair...[although that Tacx Bushido Trainer is looking pretty good, too...and only partially because the Schlecks use them.]
So what are you looking forward to receiving this year?

collaring perfection

It's only human nature to be sort of resentful of people that make everything look effortless. They accomplish things ordinary mortals somehow can't; they look good the second they wake up, they glow with the kind of charisma that's reserved for the truly cool, and everyone thinks that everything they do is either awesome or adorable or both.
They're so goddamn perfect, they make you puke a little in your mouth every time you think of them.
So forgive me if I sighed a little in exasperation when a familiar Fedex package greeted my return home a few days ago. I may have even rolled my eyes a bit. But between you and me, that's mostly because handling anything Rapha makes me feel [even now] sort of...frumpy.

Because Rapha is polished. Almost blindingly so. And what's worse is that polished perfection actually delivers.
Which explains even Competitive Cyclist's inability to fully criticize Rapha. Even with the excessively stylish way in which Rapha riders apparently change a flat, and the prevalence of the word "gentleman" in their events [but then again, the Rapha Ladies' Club would sound either like a geriatric brothel or a really skanky male strip club], somehow they're not completely out of touch with reality. That's not to say they're perfect - until they get a women's line in production, even I won't give them that - but given their fairly large range of products, there's almost a surprising amount of thought instilled in each piece.

But lack of a women's line isn't the reason for my frumpy feelings. It's like being lined up next to a supermodel; she can be the nicest thing in the world but she's still a goddamn supermodel. It's not her fault that her biological luck makes me feel depressingly self-conscious, but it still does. So when I opened my presents from Portland to find a Winter Collar and a sick bottle opener from Rapha's "Stars and Watercarriers" event, my first thought was:
"My giant Asian head is not going to fit through this [Winter Collar, not the long chain the bottle opener came with]."

It actually did, though. Quite easily, in fact. And Rapha apparently being scarily clairvoyant, yesterday morning was cold and rainy; the kind of weather where cotton bandannas or silk scarves simply do not cut it. Puddled around my neck, peeking out from the top of my jacket, the Winter Collar's silky wool is about 5 million times better than a heavy, slightly suffocating wool scarf and about 10 million times better than zipping my fleece jacket all the way up and then having the zipper jab that part where my head connects to my throat and consequently feeling like I'm a few sensations away from choking.
But the inadvertent discovery of the Winter Collar's best feature was all courtesy of the annoying rain pelting my face. Out of habit, I pulled up whatever was around my neck to cover the lower half of my face, and if it wasn't for the morning traffic, I would have stopped to gape and caress.

Because unlike the fleece balaclava that I formerly could not live without, the elastic of the Winter Collar doesn't crush my nose - an extremely important fact when you spent your childhood with a clothespin on it to make it as pointy as possible. That might have been enough to win me over completely, but there's more. The almost-sheer weight of the wool means that breathing though the fabric doesn't result in the lower half of your face becoming a suffocating sauna. And unlike that now-detestable balaclava, even pulled over half my face, the collar keeps neck and collarbone protected from the elements.

I almost didn't want to take it off when I got to school, despite the self-consciousness involved in wearing Rapha. But checking Twitter, I came across the latest tweet from shitmydadsays:
"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."
If Rapha wants to be involved with my neck, maybe I really shouldn't question it...

bike shop christmas

As per the usual morning routine, I grabbed my eyeliner pencil yesterday morning, unsheathing the magic black wand that helps accentuate the eyes that I don't have. One eye squeezed shut with the accompanying eyebrow raised, hand poised, leaning in towards the mirror...
I stopped. Who was I going to need this for? The exam proctor???
The pencil got capped and tossed back into my make up bag. Besides, I figured that looking absolutely haggard would keep me from hanging out anywhere on the way home.
I should have known better. I mean, I do know better...but despite my age, I'm still recovering from junior-high-nerd-status and can't resist the opportunity to hang out with the cooler kids. Bags under my eyes, skull still freshly throbbing from the effects of a tax law exam, sweaty from being overdressed for the warmer afternoon weather, and with no eyeliner on, I bounced into Cambridge regardless.

And found that not only were all the cool kids working there yesterday, so was the infamous [and slightly intimidating] Mr. Croth. I got to bask in his vicarious cool for a grand total of five minutes before he jetted off in those rocking red gloves and the giant Ortlieb bag that was made to smuggle small children into the country. Meanwhile, customers came and went, Jason had his nose buried in paperwork and I started to feel bad skipping around and just being in the way.

Until, of course, Dan came in from the service door, announcing a shipment of bike goodies that Pete described was "as big as a Christmas tree." And indeed it was. There were countless boxes of...everything. Taped and tied together, then wrapped in a plastic cocoon, all it was missing was a big red ribbon. It was like Christmas morning; for once, the bags under my eyes and general haggard appearance seemed appropriate for the occasion. And with the energy born out of unexpected surprises, I pitched in a hand, carrying and ripping open the plethora of boxes.

It was awesomely fun...the best part being that I didn't even have to clean up or organize the huge pile of everything. I left two hours later, secure in the knowledge that Cambridge is currently fully loaded with pretty much everything I happen to currently need. Tubes in every size imaginable? Check. Wicker baskets? Check. Freewheels? [Yes, freewheels.] Check. Cookies? Probably.
Well, okay, maybe they're not stocking any mini road bikes with my name written all over it. But I'm working on that. Maybe, hopefully, for Christmas.