sleepless anticipation

I've never been an endurance athlete, so I knew I was going to putter out of steam sooner or later. Even with blogging; my fingers are actually tired from typing. Because - did you notice? - I blogged every day in March.
It was a personal goal that had me sprinting to bike events, parties, and shops across town. Spinning, snapping pictures, typing, publishing...phew! It's no Battenkill, but it sort of took its own toll; I was shaving off sleep, yawning on my ride into school, and drinking too much coffee. And just when I get a long weekend, I'm looking at endless hours of outlining in preparation for that final emotional and physical wreck that is "finals."
I've already had a meltdown or two; only ameliorated by staring furiously at pictures of a bike that's thisclose to being complete and ridable. In times of extreme stress and self-doubt, though, it's not the prettiness of the bike itself [although, I'm definitely not complaining about that] that tells me to keep my chin up. I remember something Jeremy mentioned a few weeks ago:
"That steerer tube is so burly, it's emasculating."


And it is. Despite how light [and fast] she feels, there's something tough and burly hiding under stem cap, stem, spacers, and integrated headset. And that sort of gives me a lot of hope. Because even if I'm falling into bed too late, tossing and turning trying to schedule my tomorrows, and waking up too early, I'd like to think that deep down inside, I'm made of something equally tough [although maybe not as emasculating?].
I'm taking the long way home tonight, with a slight detour at a UPS pick-up center planned. That's right, tonight. I guarantee...tomorrow is going to be a very Good Friday.