race report: shuzenji, racing solo, and making mistakes

My riding this year has been a bit like a cycling cha-cha: two steps [pedalstrokes?] forward, one step back. Rinse and repeat. Things will be going perfectly, until I hit some hormonal or non-cycling life wall, and then I'll spend a week recovering. You could say it's almost like East German training where you're purposely overtrained, but mine has been without the supercompensation benefits.
Still, I had registered for a JCRC race this past weekend. Despite the fact that I didn't feel super strong or ready, it seemed like it'll be good practice. Never mind that I had quit my team a few weeks back and couldn't even hitch a ride to the race. I figured that I'll figure it out, because that's what I do.

Saturday afternoon, instead of some hardcore napping so I could wake up at 3am to get a ride down to Izu prefecture, I was experiencing the muscle-draining pain of traveling to a race solo. This meant hauling my disassembled bike, plus about 10kg of gear and clothes up and down flights of stairs and across two of the largest train stations in Tokyo. Three hours later, my sore shoulders crawled into a cab that drove me up to the Nihon Cycle Sports Center and where I'll crash for the night, the Cytel [as in, the Cycle Hotel. Get it?].

6,900 yen had purchased me a small room with a sink [communal bathrooms in the hallway and communal bath/showers on the third floor], plus two meals. Dinner in the dining room on the second floor was a truckload of food, with a Kazhak junior cycling team plus Singaporean Wai Mun and two Hong Kong track cyclists taking part in the UCI Continental Cycling Center training camp. Thankfully they weren't racing the next day, but the four middle-aged guys I shared a table with, were.

They came to breakfast the next morning full kitted-out [I was still in yoga pants]. I ate breakfast with a lump in my throat, told myself it was a good sign that salmon was on the menu, and got dressed.

Though the predicted rain had held off, wind was gusting around the course. Not a good sign for a non-climber in a climber's race. The women's [open] field was assigned a scant 10km [2 laps around a 5km circuit], with a total of 285m of climbing. Those sound like pussy numbers, but I never met anything over 3% that I didn't at least dislike.
Climbing to me has always been like the slightly creepy coworker who's always trying to hang out outside of work. "Look, I don't mind working with you because I have to," I always want to say when the grade starts to pitch up, "but that doesn't mean I'd actually choose to spend time with you." That's probably the point, and my tolerance has gotten better, but not quite race better. I was optimistic, though, because I did better than I expected at the same race last year.

Until, of course, I saw the field. Only two women [myself included] were racing unaffiliated [and coincidentally, on the only two steel bikes]. A pair of Zipp 404s and 303s would race for 1st place; that was almost painfully obvious before the gun even went off. My heart was rattling in nervousness and a touch of dread. In a field of ten, all save one other woman on carbon, all with Dura-Ace, I suddenly felt very alone. ["Did you at least have the best bike?" Josh would later ask, and price-wise, even with the used pair of Dura-Ace C24s I bought off Tobias a week before, it was a resounding "no."]
You know how last year I didn't make too many mistakes? Well, karma continues to be a bitch, because this year when the gun went off, I made every single mistake in the book. I fumbled [a lot] clipping in, managed to stay with the group and out of the wind on the first climb but got dropped like Wiggo on the descent. I was taking the S curves and hairpins so fast it felt like I was on a track, getting pressed into the corners, turning right, then left, then right again. They were in sight, but I couldn't bridge the gap, and on the second lap, I dropped my chain like a proper noob.

I came in a miraculous 8th [out of 10]. After changing and packing up my bike, I killed time waiting for my cab ride talking to a friend online, trying to laugh off my disappointment. "Top ten!" he said, adding, "I got a top ten at a pro race once, so we're like the same!" I laughed, and shook my head, because he's the strongest cyclist I know and he had won that race, too. We joked around and shot the shit for a little longer and between the typed out words there was a pulse of relief, the banishment of my silly fear that my friends would somehow like me less because I wasn't anywhere close to winning.
Dehydrated, exhausted, and sore, I spent the rest of my Sunday sleeping, watching TV, and mulling over lessons learned. Maybe next time, I've been telling myself, assuming I can afford it [the trip, including the race fee, cost me a touch over 30,000 yen]. For right now, though, I figure there's nothing wrong with little stumbling when you're learning the [cycling] cha-cha.

may selection

Honestly, nothing can beat Adam Hansen's Giro stage win this month, but here's some other good stuff that's happened between Giro stages:
- Shoes. I love them. A great collection of what was ridden in the Giro this year [scroll down].

- If that's not enough, Swiss company Gaerne is offering limited edition Fabian Cancellara model shoes. Complete with gold-embossed initials. [Priced at 35,700 yen.] [via Cyclowired.]

- For those who love the track and want a taste of Japanese keirin as experienced by Shane Perkins, the five-part "Ryokou" series [meaning "journey" in Japanese] is a must watch.

- The definition of outrageously sexy, in a mechanical kind of way: a 64g Dura-Ace derailleur. Yeah. [via Bike Rumor.]

- And for cycling's third discipline, Honey is offering some awesome, very limited edition "Cross is Boss" bikes. Only 20 will be made so put your order in by, like, tomorrow.


And now for June!

giro roundup

[My past three weeks in a nutshell...]
Hours ridden: 31.5

Blog posts written: 9 Favorite stage: Stage 7, obvs

Number of times the Esta The commercial girl actually looked like she took a huge bite out of the introduced “street food”: 0 Stages I almost vomited in anxiety: 2 [Stages 7 and 20]

Number of stages it took for me to remember that Wiggins was once in the Giro: 6 Quote that will be missed the most: “Grazie, Andrea”

Favorite non-cycling part of the Giro: the team cars re-enacting scenes from the Fast and Furious: 6 trailer.

Number of Lotto-Belisol asses I want to give a congratulatory smack to: all of ‘em [you thought I was only going to say one, didn’t you?]

Shoes of the Giro that I’d knife fight The Rock for: Hansen’s Hanseenos, Sanchez’s gold Sidis, and Pozzato’s hot pink Sidis, in that order.

Thanks for all the suffering! One down, two more Grand Tours to go!

mean girls

I once briefly dated a guy who was too concerned about being perceived as nice to actually be interesting. “I’m not going to encourage that,” he’d say to a snarky but harmless joke. “Encourage what?” I was always tempted to ask, “having a sense of humor?” Thankfully, it didn't last long, but essentially being called heartless bothered me a little.

I took this as a sign that I actually have a heart, despite the fact that friends have never quite called me nice. "You're one of the most loyal friends I have," my best friend once said, but "nice" was outside the bounds of my charming, pitbull-like attributes. I like to tell myself that biting sarcasm and an inability to hold my tongue make me interesting [or at least not boring]. That feeling that I should be nice[r], though, has a tendency to harsh my asshole vibe.
Being a [M]asshole was fine while living in Boston, but this feeling that I am ignorant of the fundamental concept of how to be nice returned once I moved back to Japan. I had finally found gainful employment, and one of the first things I did was nearly crush a secretary between the elevator doors. With about three other people watching. In the extremely awkward minute that followed, I got hosed down with shocked looks, before the three remaning secretaries arrived at their floor. They all made it a point to cringe a little on their way out, as if I'd pushed the "close doors" button on purpose and was eagerly waiting for the opportunity to do it again.

Which really didn't seem fair, because if I wanted to kill a secretary, I wouldn't use anything as ineffecient and unreliable as an elevator door. Please. Even a pedal wrench would be more effective than that.
This is probably where you expect me to say that the bike has made me this way. Fortunate enough to have been appropriately hazed by boyfriends who rode better, it would be easy to say that getting gears and getting dropped had a Black Swan effect to my ordinarily nice [that word again!] and delightful personality. If I'm honest, I suspect the opposite to be true. It's not what initially attracted me, but I keep coming back to the bike because I believe it sometimes requires allows me to be mean. And any sport that encourages stabbing the part of me that wants to be spinelessly polite while snarling, "it's my turn, now" has my full, undivided commitment.

The hitch is that - with a few exceptions - most cyclists I've met are noticebly nicer than I am. Maybe it's not so much that cycling requires a mean streak as it is that it requires the resolve to never shrink back from the things that are thrown your way. When you're already gagging on social demands to be less abrasive, that almost-aggressive [Bouhanni-like] assertiveness can bleed into the rest of your life, like tan lines in December.

So it wasn't the hazing boyfriends, but the bikes I'm blaming for having to re-learn docile submission of the Japanese variety. And as I found out the hard way, company elevators are no place to be belligerent or bold.
These days, I'm well-versed in the dance that I refer to as the "Elevator Fight." I race any other women present to push the "open doors" button before we even arrive at the ground floor and insist, quietly and politely, that everyone leave before me. The attorneys don't mind, but the secretaries can put up a bit of a fight. Sometimes they win, other times, I stubbornly insist on my subordinate status and make them exit the elevator before I do. It's still a learning process.

Last night, at the end of my shift, I slipped into an empty elevator and crossed my fingers that the car would slide smoothly and without stopping, all the way to the first floor. It did and I walked out, shoulders hunched forward like I always do on the bike, but with a confident step. The secretaries might have escaped any unfortunate elevator accidents that day, but my mean streak was already giggling gleefully at the thought of tomorrow morning's intervals.

so ludacris

[Because I couldn't say it better than Luda...]
Just bought me and my cars bikes all some brand new [okay, used] shoes

And the people just stare so I love to park it

And I just put a computer in the glove compartment

With the pedal to the floor, radar in the grille

TV in the middle of my steering wheel

[Like that [finally] slammed stem? More soon, as always!]

review: blow it out your ass-os

I've recently reached that point in life - maybe that was a few years ago but I was only willing to admit it now - where my body mostly only makes sense in a kit. I've been genetically gifted with quads that will grow...and grow and grow...with the calves [and okay, ass] to match. This makes me the envy of the bodybuilders at my gym who refuse to do heavy squats, but also makes me look like a tree stump in skinny jeans.
It's a sad reality for someone who used to love denim. The trade-off was that I discovered Lululemon and Assos.

Though the designers at Lululemon have come up with a way to make even my ass look, well, spectacular, in yoga pants, Assos has been the real game changer. It's been almost a year since I purchased them, but my Assos T.FI. Lady S5 bibs have become one of those garments I try to "save" for special occasions. I'll grit through the relative discomfort of my worn down Capo shorts on shorter rides, just so I won't have to risk my Assos bibs coming under more wear and tear. Sure, they were bulletproof enough to come away with only a small scrape when I crashed back in October, but like the favorite pair of killer heels you generally keep on ice, you can't ever be too careful.

And like those heels, these bibs feel...sexy. The difference being that they're also extremely comfortable. The fabric is similar to that of Rapha's [mens'] bib shorts [circa 2010] - silky smooth and supple - but a touch better. It feels good to slip into, and unless you're stupid enough to lose a few kgs after purchasing them, these shorts won't ride up, despite the fact that only the back half of the leg hems have rubber grippers. Everything molds to your body and moves with you in these bibs, including the just-right, infamous, light-blue chamois. You feel naked, but awesomely, confidently so, like how great boyfriends can should make you feel even after you stuff yourself with way too much food.

Even new, the chamois was never obtrusive, either. It's thick enough to provide comfort for those mega-long trainer rides or anything that involves lots of time in the saddle, but outwardly appears low profile. I never got the feeling that I had two giant diapers on, or that I was walking around with a pillow precariously attached to my already bodacious ass. As an added perk, the bibs are cut rather generously in the hips and thighs. Which means I easily fit into a size small (win!!!).
The best part, though? The slightly strange between-boob strap.

I consider myself a fairly creative problem-solver, but never figured out how to drop the bibs to pee without taking off my jersey and trying to find a place to hang it. Assuming there's a hook provided in the bathroom, it never works out well because my pockets are inevitably stuffed with tubes, tire levers, a multi-tool, food, phone, earphones and whatever else. This means I end up battling various layers of Lycra in a fight to drop the bibs and juggling discarded layers so they won't touch the floor, all while crammed in some small public restroom. Yeah, I'm sure there's a porn genre for that, too, but listen, I'm not getting paid for this.
With the Assos bibs, I can unhook the strap, pull it over my head, and slip it down my back, all with my jersey still securely hooked to my shoulders. I'm flexible enough to be able to link my hands behind my back, so the strap gets shoved up my back with one hand, and grabbed with the other. All with my jersey securely on my shoulders. Even if you're not that flexible, you only need to shrug the jersey off one shoulder, not both. The guys probably won't get it, but this has been a total game changer.
Oh yeah, and for someone who is less than endowed totally flat, the strap also gives some illusion of boob-age. Which is cool because I can use all the help I can get in that department, too.

After losing a few kgs, those bibs are starting to creep up my thighs on rides. It's a shame, because it's barely been a year since I purchased them. I'm saving up for another pair, though, even with the other womens' bibs options that are popping up.
Because you've been there. Racing towards the nearest bathroom mid-ride, unsnapping your helmet before you even get off the bike. And who seriously has the time to be taking off a jersey when that happens?
Details Price: 24,780 yen [Note: I got the 2012 model last fall, on sale, for about 19,000yen at the Tokyo Assos Pro Shop.]
[And yeah, you're welcome for having no shame and posting these unflattering pictures of my butt on the Internet.]